i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
