she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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