Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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