I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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