In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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