I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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