I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
