so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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