i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
