Ambien. No doubt about it.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
