I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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