I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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