i would punch a child for taco bell
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
