Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
