Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
