Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
