so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
the day after is always just damage control
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
