I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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