Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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