Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
