please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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