You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
