Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
