Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize