Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize