I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize