I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
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I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm like, not good at living.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted