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I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
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