i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...