I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
