last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Randomize
