Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
