the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We are all done wearing pants today
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
