Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
