Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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