So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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