after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
