I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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