the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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