she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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