I accidentally had phone sex last night
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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