Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
