Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
