i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
