so explain again why im purple
no
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
