So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
