Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
