We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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