I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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