a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Oh god it's open bar.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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