therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
