SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
soo... how was my night?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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