He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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