so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
