is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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