Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
