I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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