Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
