Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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