Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
