let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
