i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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