FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
