Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
