You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize